Just for today...

I’m going to take you back to 4 years ago, on the 6th July 2014...

I woke up that morning, with a decision like no other. I was ready! It was the day! I was done. 

It was one of my first experiences of making a real decision from my heart. I woke up & decided I was no longer going to smoke. 

After 13 years of it, I was ready to switch my habit. 

My driving force, was that I didn’t want to be one of those mums who had to quit smoking because she was pregnant 🤰🏻 & then go straight back to smoking once the baby was born. Not that I think there’s anything wrong with that, I just didn’t want it for me & my future babies! 

Now being pregnant, I’ve come to realise, most of the decisions I’ve ever made have been for my current position. 

Everything has always been for my future children!

So today I’m thanking my past self, for the worthiness she saw in herself and our future. Because if it wasn’t for her, we wouldn’t be where we are today.

It began with making a decision, I told my partner I was done and today was the day, he told me to not put that much pressure on myself, but I knew I was done. We popped down to the only vape place we knew at the time, in Wood Green and I bought my first and only pen. After my last cigarette that night, I took my vape pen & started using it... 

I created my own mantra “Just for today, I’m not going to smoke...” and on those days for the next 7-8 days, that’s exactly what I did. 

It was on about the 9th/10th day that I had realised something... I hadn’t used my vape pen in a few days & at this point I was stuck in traffic, on London’s greatest car park, the M25! 😩😱 I went to reach for my Vape & it wasn’t charged! I could feel an old stress creeping up on me. I didn’t know what to do, the method I used to escape, was no longer available. 

So me & my inner self had a conversation... 

Ok, so if you had the Vape or a cigarette, what would you be doing? 

So I opened my mouth & inhaled, the air hit the back of my throat & I the exhaled out!

In that split second I realised I had been smoking for 13 years, so that I could take time out to breathe 🤭😳 WTH!! Are you joking! The money I could have saved & the health I could have invested in 🙈🤪

I took 10 deep breaths and I was fine! No panic, no stress & no smelly clothes. I felt revitalised and enlightened too! 

Since that day, I never used a vape pen or smoked a cigarette again. 

It had nothing to do with will power and everything to do with my greater desire.

DON’T EVER QUIT FOR SOMEONE ELSE! I did that many years ago & it didn’t work! As soon as that person was out of my life, I started again... 

Stop smoking for you, because what you want is greater than a cigarette! 

Now I’ll be honest with you; I’ve had some of my greatest tests in these past 4 years, greater than beyond belief... BUT being where I am today & the freedom I have from that decision I made, I would do it all again! 

The only time I look back, is to see how far I’ve come! 

Somethings seem so small & we don’t realise, that these small things we do have HUGE impacts on our lives. It’s not the results that count, but the journey to it. Whilst I’m writing this post for you to read, I know that it’s for me as much as it is, for me to share this with you! 

Take some time today to appreciate you! Having written this, I’ve realised a lot & maybe even somethings that I wasn’t appreciating in myself. Today is a new day & this is a new moment. In this moment, you & only you have the power to decide what your next moment and all your moments to come are going to be filled with! 🦋

Until Next time,

Wishing you all the best!

Katerina 

xoxox